#87: Puck Landewe: de rampspoed in mijn leven móést wel gebeuren
Puck leerde ik meer dan drie jaar...
Wekelijks vertellen de vrienden van House of Awareness hun eigen ervaring over hoe ze meer bewustzijn in hun leven hebben gebracht. Deze keer is het Chris Darwen hoe hij van salestijger naar yogi ging.
De afgelopen jaren heb ik bij Graydon gewerkt. Leuk bedrijf om voor te werken, zeker in de marketing & sales. Mijn Engelse collega Chris Darwen was Manager Inside sales en een echte salestijger, totdat hij er ineens mee stopte. Toen House of Awareness live ging kreeg ik bericht van hem. Hij bleek totaal een andere kant dan sales te zijn opgegaan. Ik heb hem gevraagd het verhaal met jullie te delen. Het is in het Engels, ik vond het zonde om zijn eigen woorden te moeten vertalen.
So, I am Chris – 36 and originally from the UK but now living on the Costa Blanca in Spain. I am a recovering addict who suffered from depression and drink issues throughout my very late teens all the way through to thirty years old. I always felt there was more to life, but didn’t have a clue where to start finding it.
Wow, well I had been in many situations! Initially, I was born into a family where my mother became disabled when I was about eight years old and my sister, three years younger than me, was diagnosed as deaf. Mum passed away when I was 16 and I had moved out by the time I was 19 due to disagreements with my father. I was drinking at that point and wasn’t too interested in studying, working in local bars was more fun.
From there I decided to get my act together and went back to college, then university but the drinking and the depression was certainly growing. I found myself in the same repeat pattern time and time again, in a relationship that I did not want to be in but not wanting to be alone, so I kept living the life of a single guy whilst being in a “committed relationship.” Drinking became more and more of a problem in my 20’s as I moved from job to job, in sales, still not anywhere near true internal happiness. I got married when I was 27, and she understandably left me by the time I was 30, and I went into rehab to try and sort myself out.
Rehab was the initial trigger. I was at rock bottom and was starting to realise the damage and hurt I was causing people with my behaviour. By stepping out of the vicious circle for that month, I was able to start thinking a different way and it was the first very small step towards changing myself. Fast forward four years and although I was still not drinking, the pain, hurt and depression was still lingering. It was at this point I met someone that has not only changed my life but has become the love of my life. Jess was much further down the path of enlightenment than I was, and by listening and learning from her I have made more changes in the last 18 months than I had in 35 years! The difference was, now I was ready.
What helped me to be ready to change? I am not sure actually, but at some point something definitely clicked in me to make me realise there was more to life than just “trying to stay faithful and sober”, my career, my friends and my trapped little world that I had created. I think it was a number of things that all came together at the same time, and within four months of meeting Jess I had walked out on the best job of my life and felt the weight of expectation and context start to lift. Suddenly I realised that all the things that I had been taking as true all my life were nothing more than enforced beliefs, passed down by the environment I was in.
It was ok not to have a proper job, it was ok to wake up and not really be sure what was going to happen next, it was ok to miss the next rent payment, it was ok to pack everything up and just move to Spain with no idea what was going to happen next. Now, that makes it sound all very simple – what I was learning alongside all this, at warp speed, was more about yoga, meditation, mindfulness and getting together some really amazing tools to help me through the tougher days. Quitting my job did not instantly lift the dark clouds, I still have dark clouds today – but I now have a whole array of tools that I can use to get me through it, and more than get me through it, make me really, really happy.
Yes, most certainly. I can only speak from my own experience, but don’t underestimate the strength of your own thoughts and expectations when it comes to creating the conditions of your life. Have you ever noticed how people who talk about being ill all the time are the ones who end up ill? You are a self-fulfilling prophecy for good and bad, positive and negative depending on your thoughts. To use this, I have found that meditation and positive visualisation has helped me combat the negative thought processes that I used to have. Questioning the mind, be it meditation or just sitting quietly for 15 minutes a day with no distractions, is very powerful in creating space for receiving inspiration.
I have found that practising yoga, something that I would never have considered before, has helped me both in mind and body. Finally, keep an open mind whilst exploring for things and read as many different things as possible until you find something that lands for you. That initial landing point often sparks another area of exploration and then another one, and they all start to add up and make a positive difference on your life.
Chris woont nu in Spanje. Samen met zijn vriendin runnen zij Yoga and Meditation Torrevieja. Je kan ze hier ook op Facebook volgen. Zelf houdt Chris zich ook bezig met het analyseren van je stem, om zo meer te weten komen over je persoonlijkheid. Jane en ik hebben dit geprobeerd. Onze review komt eraan! Wil je dit proberen voor 5 euro? Klik dan hier!
Deze blog is al eerder online gekomen en delen we graag opnieuw. Het verhaal van Chris is namelijk nog steeds even inspirerend. Wel kunnen aan data gebonden uitspraken niet meer helemaal kloppen.